Day 245 - Time Off Pays Off

December 30
Pain 0-1

If I have learned on thing from all of this is to BE PATIENT.  Easy to say now that I am 8 months out but learned non-the-less.  Having taken 2 months off as recommended by Dr. Kaplan I have returned to practice as of today!  While he did not insist the stop completely I knew myself well enough to know either I am all in or all out.  In the meantime I rested, focused on my work, meditated and practiced Reiki.  In spite of all of this at the end of this I found myself doubting myself and my ability to make a difference or accomplish anything significant.  I hurt all over and lost so much strength it was scary.  I had set a date of return for after Christmas and was at my lowest point.

Yesterday everything changed when I went to a massage appointment with Sue Zinter at Soma Cura.  Not only did her massage help but her counsel did as well.  While my hip is no longer painful my scar and the hip flexor is still problematic.  I was reminded that, according to Sue, "my software is still getting used to my hardware".  It will take time for my muscles to get stronger and my scar still needs massaging and vitamin E.  Sleeping at night is still somewhat problematic and I have good and bad nights.  Hopefully yoga and massage will help this.

I was excited to go to Power Yoga Buffalo and take Candice's basic class.  It was slow and deep and challenging but it was the perfect way to get back to my practice.  I was pleased at some of the things I could do that previously bothered me before.  Warrior 1 and 2 where no longer difficult although I still have difficulty moving my right foot from downward facing to in between my hands.  I am able to get closer to the floor when my right foot is in that position and it actually feels good!  I was astounded when I did crow and I had absolutely no pain in the front of my hip.  It had been problematic since before my surgery and compression or impingement hurt so much that it would catch my breath.

During this time I have come across some very helpful articles on yogis and recovery from injury.  One from the Elephant Journal called Ego & Injury: 10 Questions for Yoginis
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/10/ego-injury-10-questions-for-yoginis/
and another one entitled 7 Ways to Get Back On the Yoga Mat from the website  DoYouDoYoga.com.  Both have given me perspective and things to remember as I continue to recover.

I plan to go to see Dr. Kaplan at Osteopathic Wellness Medicine for proto therapy when his office officially opens in February.  I think this is going to help my scar heal more quickly and better. 

I will most likely take it easy tomorrow and save myself for a class that my daughter will be teaching on New Years day. 

I am hoping that the New Year will bring me more healing and greater insight to the process of using yoga to recover from hip replacement.  I have learned to much in the past  months and I am sure to learn a great deal more.  In my future I see training to become a yoga instructor and hope to integrate my Reiki practice into it.  I am also hoping that I might be able to assist others who will be going through a similar experience and provide guidance and assurance as they progress.  Eventually I would like to work with a holistic physician to do this and know I have much to learn before I get there.

I know I will have good days and not so good days but little by little my strength and flexibility will return.  I just need to be patient, determined, and consistent in my practice.

Stay tuned!!

Namaste

Donna

Day 171 - Slowly Slowly

October 17
Pain Level 1-2

It has been 4 weeks since that I was told to slow down my yoga practice.  Since then I have modified my practice considerably.  I am no longer doing any hip openers with the right hip.  I am doing many poses with my knee on the mat.  I have also stopped going to practice on a daily basis.  I now do mostly restorative and yin yoga with an occasional level 2 or 3 class or a modified Power Yoga class.  Since then I have noticed that my hip is beginning to feel better.  Slowly but better.  I am off pain medication including Tylenol which only I take on the rare occasion and ice my hip each night.  That really helps.  I still have difficult nights but there have been times during the day when I am amazed that my hip actually feels good.  Bad weather seems to impact it.  I find that it is becoming more stable but it has less flexibility, which is to be expected.  I often feel that my efforts prior to the directive to back off, have had an affect on the future of my recovery.  I am hopeful it may just have prolonged it rather than created limitations.  I plan on holding off until I see Dr. Kaplan on November 19. 

I am starting to outline an article I am thinking of calling "Confessions and Cautions from a Recovering Hip Replacement Yogi".  I have divided it into Before, During, and After observations and advice.  I will post my work as it develops.

In the meantime I just read an article today that was posted on Elephant Journal (an amazing site).  I have taken the liberty of posting it here.  I wish I had read this before my surgery.  It would have significantly changed things.  Read on...

Stay Tuned!

Namaste
Donna

Elephant Journal

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/10/ego-injury-10-questions-for-yoginis/?utm_source=All&utm_campaign=Daily+Moment+of+Awake+in+the+Inbox+of+Your+Mind&utm_medium=email

Ego & Injury: 10 Questions for Yoginis.

Via Gregory Ormsonon Oct 16, 2014

Sigmund Freud linked ego and id, forever saddling the Western world with a limiting and rigid psychodynamic duality.

Yet I’ve come to see the truth of a related link, ego and injury. Though not always true, I’ve noticed the bigger the ego the more often the injury, and the reason I’ve noticed is that I have found it in myself.

Ego isn’t a bad word, and an ego is necessary, for it means one has an awareness of the self and their place in the world. Even Patanjali spoke of ego’s place in identity formation, using the word ahamkaar as one of the ego’s three aspects.

A healthy ego borders and protects our self-identity and social energy, and along with the energy of id, ego assists us as we aim at our life’s ambitions. But like beans or tomatoes, there are varieties of ego.

A wise mentor once offered me a crucial distinction by saying it’s important to have a strong ego but not a big one.

This gets at the heart of the matter with injury: a big ego wants to push for recognition, praise and an adoring cadre of witnesses. A big ego might push me to go faster, stronger or deeper than my body is built to withstand.

But a strong ego is one of self-strength with an acceptance of limits. A strong ego knows its place in the world and that having a confident identity does not require followers, trophies or recognition. A strong ego will not drive me to push beyond my limits and therefore will help keep me from injury. A big ego will do the opposite. I could elaborate, but think about your story, your ego, and how it might reveal your injury history.

Like many, I’ve suffered from injuries and I understand their unhappy residuals.

In the past, by will and denial, I powered through injuries and was determined they would not keep me down. This was not good or smart, but when I was young, I fought every impulse to slow down. I detested injuries and didn’t want physical therapy, braces, rest or medical treatment. I had one purpose, and that was to return to activity, competition or physical tests.

Over time, I’ve come to value my injuries for they protect me from increased damage by limiting my range of motion. This prevents over extension, which may have been the cause of my original injury. I’ve come to see the pain of injury as a friend because it tells my body to stop. By listening to this pain, I’ve learned to reframe it as a teacher and healer.

Yes, I value my injuries because they have allowed space and time to bring new insights that would normally have taken longer. As injury takes me out of my comfort zone it can become a quickening container for growth and transformation.

I’ve been slow to learn from my injuries, but their enduring lessons have fallen on good soil: I’ve learned how to accept the patient but enduring movement from painful to playful, from morose to merry, from avoidant to accepting, from ignorance to awareness, from disengagement to engagement in a meditative way.

Greater awareness has helped me discover how to meditate on injury, resulting in new questions that only I could answer. In dialoguing with my injuries, I’ve found these questions help me see them as the teachers they are:

1. How is this injury a positive—can I reframe it

2. What does this injury mean for me in the here and now

3. What does this injury help me to avoid, how is it useful for my mental strength or weakness

4. What am I not required to do when injured—how does it get me off the hook

5. Who am I not required to be when I am injured—how does it allow me to break from my usual ego driven requirements

6. How does this injury help me emotionally—who am I manipulating

7. What does my injury do for me when I wear it on my sleeve

8. Who does my injury allow me to blame, avoid, empower, bless or curse

9. How present was I when the injury occurred

10. What is this injury telling me about the way I live my life

In a gut-check, self-loving honest way, it’s possible to open up the meaning of injuries by using—as one example—a Gestalt chair to chair dialog technique. The methodology is simple but requires active imagination.

Place yourself in one chair and your injury across from you in another. You may name your injury to make it concrete. You may place a pillow, crutch or some other object in that chair so you can better visualize it.

Prepare by finding a quiet time and place, then talk with your injury. Use a notebook and record its answers. Call it by name. Make it speak to you. Through active imagination, you may find surprising answers that can jolt you to a new awareness, deeper understanding and greater self-acceptance.

And this will be good, because yoga practice (and your injury) is largely about new awareness.

Now…back to that ego.

References: 

Patanjali reference from How to Know God: The Yoga Aphorisms of Patanjali, Swami Prabhavananda & Christopher Isherwood, Vedanta Press, 1953 (pp 15-16).

About Gregory Ormson

Gregory Ormson is the ‘motorcycling yogi.’ He lives in Kona, Hawaii, where he rides Wildfire, his Harley-Davidson, 365 days a year. Greg free-dives, writes and stays warm practicing Bikram yoga. He earned his Doctor of Ministry degree from The Chicago Theological Seminary where he studied psychology and theology. You can find his tweets at #GAOrmson and check out his blog.

Day 155 - Let It Go!

October 1, 2014
Pain Level 1-2

On my 12th day of backing off my full-on yoga practice.  It has been hard but I have been modifying my practice for my right hip.  I am actually feeling a bit better...slowly.  I am learning more every day and what to do. what not to do, and how to work through it.  At a yoga class yesterday at Power Yoga Buffalo I got very wise and helpful advice from Candace, the instructor.  Having worked through injury before she recommended that I be careful to keep my practice balanced.  I have to be careful not to advance my left side at the detriment of the right side.  It could impact my gait as well as other ways of moving.  I never considered it.  Now it is right up there with "let your hip capsule stabilize".  Perhaps the most important thing she said was..."Listen your you body, not your ego".  I know I "knew" this but I can see now that I was not doing that.  As hard as it is to let go I have to stay in the present.  When I think about the past and what I could do, I get upset and  depressed.  When I think about the future and where I would like to be or hope to be, I get upset and anxious.  When I stay present...I am at peace.  This is the only way I will heal and be able to "become".

Stay tuned!

Namaste
Donna

Day 153 - FINALLY!! STOP!!!!!

September 29, 2014
Pain Level 2-3 depending

Starting my 6th month and not showing much progress.  Still in pain and night time is especially difficult sleeping.  Even walking fires up anger on the outside of my hip.  I thought by now I would be well on my way...pain free and building strength, stamina, and flexibility.  Not so.  But...after almost 5 months I finally got off the Tramadol and sobered up.  I had been continuing my yoga practice as before varying the kind and frequency.  That was until I attended the Yogafest on September 14 at Canal Side in Buffalo.  It was there that I picked up a local health magazine and opened it to see information on Buffalo Spine and Sports Medicine and an article about the yoga rehab therapy have there under the guidance of Dr. Lenard Kaplan DO*  ( that DO makes a difference).  He was the doctor that first advised me to being yoga as a therapy to relieve back pain.  As I mentioned earlier it worked and I was beginning to train to resume rowing when I was rear-ended in the accident and that started the horrible hip problem.  At any rate, I called the next day and as luck would have it an appointment opened up for that Friday.  After a thorough examination checking my hip and other areas of my back and pelvis he determined that the area is still unstable.  Quite interesting since my surgeon did nothing more than look at x-rays, manipulate my leg and pronounce me ready to resume yoga full on.  Not so with Dr. Kaplan.  He said the worse thing I could have been doing was hip openers, something that I worked on shorty after I returned to my practice.  I need to let the capsule stabilize.  He recommended I stop that aspect of my practice for at least 2 months.  I can continue to participate in yoga but I need to be careful to modify for my right hip and leg.  I asked if it would be appropriate for me to work with his yoga program but he felt that I might be at a place that is more demanding than the program they offer. When I asked him why I was told I could return to yoga full on he said the surgeon was probably not aware that the yoga I was returning to was more "Cirque de Soli" rather than meditation.  I am also scheduled for an ultrasound  and possible injection in November. 

So after a week of modifying my practice I feel a bit better.  I am trying to not to get too hopeful and I hope that all I have done has not damaged my prospects of complete healing.  I will continue to be patient as best I can and try to stay positive and hopeful.

Stay tuned!!

Namaste
Donna

* I did ask permission of the doctor to reveal his name and that of his practice.  I can't recommend them highly enough for someone who is facing a hip replacement that is a yogi or for an other rehab.  I hope that others have access to this type of support.  Contact Buffalo Spine and Sports Medicine if you are seeking advice, guidance, or recommendations. 

Day 127 - Big Changes

September 3, 2014

Much has happened since the last entry less than a week ago.  I have seen some improvement.  I am not sure if it is due to the cold laser therapy, my returning to my practice at a higher level, or just the passing of time.  I am feeling more hopeful.  While I still wake up in discomfort during the night it is not as bad as before.  I find that I have more range of motion and can sleep in almost any position.  I took a Power Yoga class yesterday and surprised myself.  Expecting limitations I found my tree to be even better than I had hoped for.  I can get my right foot up above my knee and hold it a long time.  I did dancer's pose with almost the same expression as before and actually managed to do my first crow pose without much pain and actually held it for quite a while.  I was very surprised.

Perhaps the most important thing is that I went off my tramadol cold turkey.  I had been functioning in a fog.  I could not focus, remember anything, stay awake, or be at all productive.  I found myself falling asleep behind the wheel of my car every time I drove it.  I had no initiative.  I swear my dear friend who just passed away in February came to me and told me to "get off that shit".  I went off Saturday morning.  It was rough for about 2 days and I am still trying to detox.  I have been drinking more than usual (not alcohol) and the yoga class really sweat a lot out of me.  I am getting less foggy and the pain I have is less than when I was on it.  It is really more discomfort.  I still get still if I do not move and now that school is starting and I am spending more time at my computer I notice it.  Hopefully this will diminish.  I am keeping up with my meditation, massage, Reiki, and various forms of yoga.

Stay tuned!

Namaste
Donna

Day 122 - 4 Months Later

August 29, 2014

I have been off the grid for weeks.  It seemed that my increments of improvements were so small that it was difficult to record them and it became very redundant.  Many ups and downs.  I have had times of great pain and times with I can't believe how good I feel.  Sometimes only a day apart.  Still trying to find the balance between not enough and too much.  I am still having pain especially at night but it seems to be getting better...I think.  I have continued with my yoga practice trying to vary the kinds I am doing.  I take Yin, restorative, level 1-2, level 2-3, Power Yoga, and chair.  All have has their benefits.  Massage continues to make me feel good and meditation, Reiki, and walks in the park with my dog  help me heal and grow in other ways.  I have recently started cold laser therapy and I think it is have some pay off.  It think my hip is better overall but now specific are are of more focus.  I still have pain on either side of the incision, although the tightness in the front seems to be going away.  I am having tightness in what I believe is the ligament on the inside of my leg/hip joint and I am working on stretching it in yoga classes.  I would say that overall I am progressing.  I may be close to the limitations I had before the surgery.  Now the hope is I progress to full range of motion without any pain.

I have no complaints with the surgery itself or the appliance.  I have no restrictions on range of motion except for my own muscles, ligaments, etc.  I have come to realize that the skill of the surgeon is crucial but the rehab is perhaps the most important aspect.  While much depends on ones own body, it is still so helpful to have someone guide you who has gone there before.  I know I would do things somewhat differently if I ever have to have the other hip done...which seems unlikely at this point...thank God.

I have spent a good deal of time with my granddaughter this summer at the pool, on other adventures, reading, and just hanging  out.  She continues to amaze and inspire me. This alone give me a goal and hope.  Oh to move like a 7 year old again.  I marvel at her litheness and strength.

Stay tuned!

Namaste
Donna

Day 76 - Nice to Feel Young Again!

July 14, 2014
Morning Pain 3
Evening Pain 1

What a Day!!  While I did not do yoga I did try some new things!  Took my granddaughter and dog to the park to see how he felt about swimming and with a lifejacket on.  Hope to take him out on paddleboard soon.  He did quite well and is a natural swimmer but is still unsure about the whole idea.  It will take time.   Before we went to the park we headed to the Dollar Tree to get her some flipflops.  While we were there my granddaughter spied a net that is just perfect for catching insects and minnows.  It will come in handy today.My granddaughter enjoyed exploring the little cove we found and as always showed me what it means to look at the world through the eyes of a child.

After dinner we went to the club to swim.  I had a chance to do a little aqua therapy there.  It felt good to be in the water and to float.  When it got dark we went outside to try to catch fireflies.  Never having done it before it was nice to have that net to help out.  We waited and waited for some to come close but had no luck.  After a while my granddaughter went in to go to the bathroom.  While I waited I recalled the bat that was flying around catching bugs and I figured...why not?  So I started walking around the yard swinging the net back and forth where ever I saw a firefly.  I began "running" around the yard and finally followed some to the edge of the woods.  Before I knew it I had captured 2 of them.  I went inside screaming with excitement.  We managed to get them into her bug box and put them in her bedroom.  There we went to sleep counting flashes.  We got up to over 100.  What a magic evening.  For a brief time I felt like a child again...pain was not even in the picture.

Tomorrow we are going to yoga together.  It should be fun!

Stay tuned!

Namaste
Donna